Random Stuff

Charles, whose fantasy team I shall smite this weekend, tagged me for this.


1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

The clerk at the grocery store who smashes my bread by continuously swiping it across the scanner instead of inputting the numbers from the barcode manually and than looks at me like I have two heads when I state that I do not wish to spend my hard earned moolah on a loaf of smashed bread.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?

Kenny G

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

See #1

4. What is your favorite cheese?

Cheddar.


5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?

Ham and Swiss on Rye with spicy Mustard.


6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie (porn counts) celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice? George Clooney as long as he doesn’t talk to me and leaves when it’s over. The man is hot but I’d rather not have to listen to him.


7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick? DMX,but he can talk to me because I love his voice.



8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it? On gas.



9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Can I give it to someone else? I’d rather be here without some ppl than go some where else.




10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do? Crap, the ***hole I sent packing has my hundred dollars.



11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is...? If I’m in heaven my life is over so how is an angel going to offer me a lifetime supply. Frankly, I don’t want to spend eternity drinking booze.


12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there? Rufus, are you serious, who wrote this? Frankly, I'd be to worried that whatever I did would change my life now and not necessarily for the better.


13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? My house is my island where I’m building my own society so I already make the rules and the first one is, Obey me.


14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what's the premise? A family show where the Mom handles crisis’s on her own instead of waiting for the father to get home. The smart-mouthed little kid is punished for having a smart mouth, the dumb kid gets a tutor instead of funny looks and the smart one is praised instead of criticized.


15. What is your favorite curse word? fuck



16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do? Leave


17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely.So what's the item? Our latest family picture.



18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour? Have sex with George Clooney.


19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be? The ability to only hear what I need to while I'm at a meeting or talking to a co-worker instead of having to sift to the drivel they are spewing to figure out what is important.


20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? See #18

21. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? (the answer "nothing" doesn't count) August 04.


22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit... you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin'! What country are you going to live in now? Canada or Mexico I’m not going to far from the good ole U. S. of A considering the worlds view on us right now.

23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be? The one that will have me.


24. Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question.... If you did, then we'll just expand on that. Check it out... Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like "Dude, check it out... I can FLOAT!"? Mine and scare the crap out of my kids.

25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life? I honestly can't think of anyone.


26. The Celestial Gates of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn't think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? My Dad



27. What's your theme song? Crawling-Linkin Park or Super Freak-Rick James, it depends on the day.

Shari and Trouble, your turn.

Skipper I'd tag you but you're suffering enough right now.

That is all.

I've been around. Okay, that didn't come out right. I've been here. Well not exactly here at this blog but I've been at yours. I still read faithfully and comment sporadically. There's a lot going on around these parts and I've been blocking much out to deal with the goings on within.

Thanks Charles for inquiring on my whereabouts. I'm still going to lay a beatdown of massive proportions on your team but I'll feel guilty about it now.

Skipper, Hermie is punishment for your lack of Patriotism. BTW, no poking until you buy me dinner. I might be easy but I ain't cheap.

Thanks to everyone for the concern.

Like Herpes you might not see me but I'm there and you never know when I'll surface.

The draft for my fantasy football league was at 5:15 yesterday and I counted each ticking minute down with building enthusiasm until I reached football euphoria.

Sadly, before the end of round 1 I was spent. I talked myself into a couple more rounds before I clicked on my away message and let the computer take over. By round 11 of 20 I shut the computer off totally embarrassed by my lack of will, stamina and interest to endure until the end.

The shame is so great that not even the prospect of whooping on the losers in my league is bringing me joy right now.

Sigh.

Once again it's time to evaluate the job I've done over the past year and set new goals for the coming year.

I. Achieved Goals/Accomplishments

Did not hurt or maim any co-workers.
Did not roll my eyes while explaining something to someone that they should have known already.
Managed to get my 1 hour lunch down to 1 ½ hours instead of 2.
Did not laugh, point and say I told you so when the changes you implemented did not work.


II. Major Obstacles Faced in Achieving Goals


Co-workers-I was so busy pulling knives out of my back, coddling and wiping ass that I couldn’t get a lot done.



III. Goals for next year/areas of improvement:

Griping, back-stabbing and ass kissing as they seem to be what counts around here and not actual work.




IV. How can *****assist me in achieving these goals


Shorter work week, longer lunch hour and more pay.

I am so ready.

While we're on the subject of football, Omar implies he doesn't like Tom Brady yet he is pictured with him quite often.




You are in awe of his awesomeness....just admit it.