Random Stuff

First things first, thank you for the kind words and I was talking about my blog. Which actually sounds a little nuts now when I say it. Oh well, if the shoe fits.

Anyway, check out some of the links on the right until I can actually remember what I was going to say when I started this post. That is part of the problem I can't remember crap. I need to walk around with one of those little tape recorders.

Do you remember when the words flowed freely between us? Now there's an awkward silence. When we met it was easy. It was new. You introduced me to some great people and for that I owe you.

I'm not sure what changed. I just know at some point I started avoiding you. It seemed more a burden than anything else. The fun was gone. You'd sit there expectant while I fumbled for words. So I stopped coming around.

While I was gone I realized that I do miss you. I also realized I put the burden on myself. That was completely my doing. I took the fun out of it.

Perhaps we'll fall into that familiar groove we once had. Perhaps it will be an occasional drive-by. I'm not in the same place I was when we met. It happens. Relationships change. They have to. It's not that I won't be coming around. I just won't be around as often. Although that could change, things happen. Who can say? Not me. I'm winging it.

Talk at ya later.

Courtesy of my girlfriend Brian, who mentioned that he found it here.

I’ve tried to be open-minded but gauchos are still not my thing. I’ve only seen two women pull that look off successfully, Annie Oakley and Victoria Barkley. Okay 3 women when you count Audra Barkley. Lee Majors was very hot as the young Heath Barkley I might add.

It is only April 21 and the flipping of the flip-flops in the office is already driving me berserk. JFC, all day long flip, flop, flip, flop. If you hear of a woman going postal with a nail gun, that would be me.

The one benefit to having paper clips and rubber bands shot at you all day is always having one at the ready when you actually need one for something work related.

WTF happened to Star Jones? She looks like a black Joan Rivers. I really hope that wasn’t the look she was going for.

Things are quiet on the western front. The kids are finishing up Spring Break.

Summer is fast approaching. I’m having Mommy guilt over sending Angelina to summer camp. She can not stay home with her sister though. She was only home for a couple days this week before I heard her suck her teeth and sigh after I told her to pick up her toys. I had to remind her sister this week while she was doing the dishes and complaining that she isn’t the maid. She is in fact a slave because maids get paid. On the bright side, at least she can multi-task. Unlike my co-workers who can only seem to complain that they have too much work to do as opposed to actually working.

Have a very good weekend.

That is all.

As opposed to the usual, “It’s Friday, good”.


This weekend we’ll be going to see the Easter Bunny. Hopefully, she won’t kick him this time. She assures me she won’t. We’ll also be coloring eggs and doing the egg hunt thing. We don’t hunt for real eggs though we’ll use the plastic ones. I don’t mind finding a plastic one three weeks later but those real ones sure can smell up the place.

Actually I didn’t really have anything to say, I just wanted to wish everyone a safe and happy Easter, unless you’re an atheist or practice a different religion than just enjoy your weekend.

I found this meme at Charles place. Go to Wikipedia. Enter your birthdate and list 5 historical events, 4 births and 3 deaths. At least that's what I think it was. Home for 2 days and I can't think straight. Personally, reading the events of my birthday were quite depressing. Anyway, this was fun and interesting. Try it and have a good weekend.


1927 - The Holland Tunnel opens to traffic as the first Hudson River vehicular tunnel linking New Jersey to New York City. (I hate the tunnels with a passion.)

1946 - A branch of the Exchange National Bank in Chicago, Illinois opens the first ten drive-up teller windows. (I heart drive-up tellers and ATM's)

1970 - The Oregon Highway Division attempts to destroy a rotting beached Gray whale with explosives, leading to the now infamous exploding whale incident (that's just wrong)

1990 - Tim Berners-Lee publishes a formal proposal for the World Wide Web. (now I know who to blame)

2004 - Resignation of Colin Powell as Secretary of State. (something good besides my birth)

Births

1815 - Elizabeth Cady Stanton, American women's rights activist (d. 1902) (I'm all for women's rights but the man has to kill the bugs)

1929 - Grace Kelly, Princess Grace of Monaco, American actress (d. 1982) (Her name was so appropriate for her)

1934 - Charles Manson, American cult leader and mass murderer (hmm)

1968 - Sammy Sosa, Dominican Major League Baseball player (hey me and Sammy born on the same day and year cool)

Deaths

1990 - Eve Arden, American actress (b. 1908)

1994 - Wilma Rudolph, American runner (b. 1940)

2003 - Jonathan Brandis, American actor (b. 1976)

Yesterday’s post definitely falls under the too much information category. Today I’m going to provide just a couple of helpful hints for you gentlemen dealing with ladies who are hormonally-impaired. Actually these tips can be applied to everyday living.


If she wants sweetener in her tea, give it to her.

If you know she is exceptionally sensitive to dumb questions, certain phrases or your breathing than try not to do it.

If she wants to watch Jon Stewart or the Colbert Report let her do it in peace.

If you walk into a room where she is the sole occupant and when you ask her what she is doing, she responds enjoying the silence, for the love of God, don’t start talking to her.

Ladies we can also help by giving fair warning instead of letting them try and figure it out. If you want to be left alone tell him. If you want company tell him. Don’t get upset. He’s not a mind reader.

However, if you give them fair warning or ask for something and don’t get it, walk softly and carry a big stick.

In an effort to be fair during a momentary lull in the hormone rush here are some tips for the laides.

Don’t expect him to figure out what is wrong with you through charades. If he asks, he obviously doesn’t know, no matter how obvious you think it should be to him.

Don’t say you’re fine or nothing is wrong if something is bothering. You aren’t a mime, if he asks, tell him.

Don’t ask him a question and then get mad at the answer. He does not know if the pink in your shirt and the pink in your shoes match or are just a little off. If he does you should start watching him.

Don’t ask him to go shopping unless you know he likes shopping. However, if it’s grocery shopping he can do that because he does eat.

My mood has risen to slightly cranky, thanks to a little Parliament, a little Donna Summer and some Rose Royce thrown in for good measure. It's hard to stay in a totally foul mood while listening to Flash Light, MacArthur Park or Car Wash? The hormonal rollercoaster ride has been joined by a headache. This is only the beginning. Within the next couple of days I begin the first stages of, Chronically Real Aversion to Motherf**king People Syndrome, otherwise known as CRAMPS. Oh the joy of ovulation.


At this time, male readers should go kiss their Mom, girlfriend, wife or any random female for enduring years of this and not killing and/or maiming you. After that you and your male friends can high-five each other over the fact that you aren’t female which you can follow up with a bitch session on how you have to put up with us when we’re like this. I feel for you. Actually I don’t. However, I will next week

In a matter of minutes my mood went from good to melancholy to bad. Not just normal bad either, bad of biblical proportions, if I could, I would surely send a swarm of locusts after some of my co-workers. Frankly, I wish I could turn water into wine because I could use a drink. Yes, that is a terrible thing to say at 10 in the morning. However, I would suggest you keep that comment to yourself lest I rein fire down upon your ass.





No petting zoo Saturday. She received a better offer. My brother took her to the movies to see Ice Age and to McDonald's. What girl picks a petting zoo with her Mom over dinner and a movie with a man who dotes on her? In lieu of the petting zoo picture here's one of her and my 13 year old son, I snapped with my camera phone one day.










Yes, this is a typical day in my house.